What Makes A Mother

What Makes A Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today,
I asked, "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard him say:
A Mother has a baby,
This we know is true
But, God, can you be a Mother
When your baby's not with you?

A picture is worth a thousand words

This is on the picture the hospital made us for Emma, which is pretty beautiful!!!

A little piece of Heaven on Earth?

This morning I unfortunately was waiting while my car got an oil change. While I was there a little family came in with a baby. And all I could think was great, I have to sit next to this baby until my car was ready. I think the little baby must have been about six months old and I swear I was just sitting there playing with my phone when I realized he kept looking at me and giggling. Except he wasn't looking at me, he was looking at something else that was right there by me, but wasn't me. It definitely had his attention. I am just saying I think he saw a little angel that the rest of us can't. Pretty much made my day.

What's a movie without popcorn?

4 days...

Some moments I loose thought of who I am or where I am at...

Just watching from the shadows a little five year old girl who dressed up as witch for Halloween and loved getting ice cream with the smiley face sprinkles.

...

Maybe it is just because it is almost my due date or maybe it isn't for a specific reason at all. But, I feel more lost than I ever felt before.

Little Footprints

This is a little poem that I have in one of Emma's memory books

Dear Emma

Emma,

Viability

The phrase "viability of this pregnancy" was thrown around a lot after I found out Emma was sick.

Honestly, that phrase makes me sick. 

Firstly, I am going to start off with the definition of viability per dictionary.com: adj, capable of becoming actual.

Percival

Percival is the name of this precious baby bird I had the privilege to care for and I feel it is pertinent to my story for me to tell his.

Ignorance is Bliss

Throughout this whole experience it seems like the world makes me feel it is not fair for me to express what I have gone through.

Dear Mommy and Daddy

A few weeks ago, I was filling out the little memory book I was given from the hospital. In it, it has these precious little poems and such. This one I really wanted to share because it is special and even though it makes me cry every time I read, it touches my heart.

the Aftermath

The days following Emma's birth are still at times blurry to me.

I felt like I was living in a daze. Most of the time, I still feel this way. It's like you are watching your life on television.

Not your happy fairytale ending...

First, I would like to start off by saying, I have many issues I think need to be addressed. There are several things I need to accomplish by initiating this blog. But, I think the best way to start is by telling the story ...