4 days...
Some moments I loose thought of who I am or where I am at...
Just watching from the shadows a little five year old girl who dressed up as witch for Halloween and loved getting ice cream with the smiley face sprinkles.
She chases butterflies around and never wants to wear anything but her pink glittery jelly shoes--- which I might add are quite rockin. Her favorite color is pink and unfortunately she watches Barney. That poor little girl playing tag in the back yard with Kelsie is so young and innocent and has no idea what life has in store for her.
... And suddenly the movie fast forwards, and she is sitting on her bed with empty arms and an empty heart. Why her? Why her daughter?
She is a mess. So lost...
I watch this girl everyday and I think that must be terrible. How can life be so horrible? How can life rip away a baby from her mother?
I watch her suffer day in and out. I see what most can not. She has the only outfit of her daughter's hanging on her mirror. Sometimes she just stares at and wonders what could have been. Other times I watch her hold it and cry... She looks as if maybe when she opens her eyes this will have been just a bad dream. That the little outfit will be filled with her daughter and instead of anger and pain, she will be overcome with joy.
And suddenly
I realize
this isn't a movie
at all...
It's me.
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